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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Stress: Relax, Relate, Release

"Tension is who you think you should be.  Relaxation is who you are."  ~Chinese Proverb

I remember growing up and hearing my cousin tell me, "Relax, Relate, Release." We were probably around ten years old at the time, but it was her way of saying don't stress. Amazing how at such a young age, we thought we knew what stress was. But as an adult, worldly pressures come upon us, and we begin to feel compounding stress. I've learned over the years that relaxing comes easiest when I am at peace with where I am. When I can sit in the still of the moment and know I am where I should be and if I am not, that as long as I work at achieving my goals with purity and sincerity, eventually I will end up at my destination. It doesn't matter how long it takes us, as long as we get there.

I am reminded of a friend who died in her mid-fifties, who decided to go to medical school at the age of forty-one. She was a mother and grandmother at the time she enrolled. I asked her one day after she became a doctor, "why did you decide to go to medical school at that age?" She said, "why not?  I was going to be forty-five anyway, why not be forty-five and a doctor?" Her response made complete sense to me; I could relate to her journey. Life is going to move along with or without us. So why not use your gifts and talents to be who you were called to be? Let go of the stress, be present in the moment and go at your own pace. Set small attainable goals if you have to. If you want to be a writer, be a writer. If you want to be a doctor, be a doctor. Just don't stop striving for your dreams.

Release yourself from other people's expectations of where you should be and don't let it affect how you feel about yourself. When I think about my friend, I find it ironic that she waited so long to start her dream career, and yet she was only granted less than a decade in life to enjoy it; but enjoy it she did. I don't have a perfect solution to get everything you want, but I do know that words will not appear on screen if you don't type them, no one can read your work if you don't produce it and prosperity can not be granted if you do nothing.

So I say to you, as my cousin still tells me today, "Relax, Relate, Release" and get moving. Your destiny awaits.


The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.
Black Jack


  1. Relax, release, relate........I like that.

  2. Thank you RGG. I tell myself that sometimes over and over. Then exhale.


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I am a writer, filmmaker, wife and a mom of five beautiful, intelligent, quirky kids. This blog is for writers, aspiring writers, filmmakers and movie lovers. Bringing you my favorite books, films and photos, as well as giveaways and updates on my journey. I'm currently in the process of producing my first short film from my collection of short stories titled, If I Had My Way. The first story to be filmed will be Tandarin Drive. My award winning book, If I Had My Way, is available now. You can purchase a copy at and You may contact me via email at:

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